Listening to DJ FM while my spare time in the middle of "busy day".... the DJ said "Which part of you that you proud of" ..kinda difficult quote isn`t it? what part of me? hmmm..let me think....me is : not sexy but proportional, not clever but smart, not rich but can enjoy anything, not beautiful but pretty, chubby cheek? yeah i like being MYSELF whoever i am....so ..how `bout your`s?

I FEARED BEING ALONE UNTIL I LEARNED TO LIKE MYSELF

Today`s weather : Rainy...hard rain...
just like what i feel...i`m so blue...deep blue...wondering of God playing, cuman..yah...ga bisa apa2 selain berdoa dan berdoa...wishing for the best for my future that`s all!
aku sendiri juga ga tau apa yang menuhin OTAK ini `til the tears drop by...hey suci` nangis? gpp kan? wajar kan? emg knp klo suci` nangis? it`s not the end of the world anyway...maybe i have to learn more how to be a wise human

I FEARED PAIN UNTIL I LEARNED THAT IT`S NECESSARY FOR GROWTH

Surabaya...Malang...Jakarta...Bandung...Jogja...Solo...Malang..back to Surabaya again....IN JUST 3 DAYS!!!
What a great health i ever had....tapi sumpah baru sekarang kerasa capeknya....

Sometimes i just wondering what kind of life that some busy people get with that life style, mobile life, nomaden...one side maybe it seems fun `cause u can go around the world or even around the universe but on the other side can u imagine how`s the family they leaved? how if the son didn`t recognize his Mom/Dad? how`s their future? it might be just an `ignored` problem but i think it`ll become a serious one....yeah it`s just my opinion anyway...

March 2, 2004
12:01:37 am

Father sent me a message :
Uik, Indosat just called and ask you to do the medical check at ***** Jl. Dharmawangsa tomorrow 07:00 in the morning, just prepare for it will ya!

what is it? should i happy? i don`t know...i just don`t know...just let it flow like a river..GOD give me a CLUE, please.....

Operator : Indosat Selamat Sore
Me : Sore...Pak mau tanya hasil tes interview kemarin
Operator : atas nama sapa mbak?
Me : Suci
Operator : Hmmm....nggak ada tuh
Me : Ooo...nggak ada yah...makasih pak..sore...
*click*

feels like an a**hole...no comment...just lay my body on the bed...fiuh....S**T!! my name is not in the list!!
Positive side : Ada `sesuatu` yang direncanakan oleh-Nya dan aku yakin pasti yang terbaik buatku
but still there`s an `aargghhh` deep inside...WHY ME??? OUGH! cry? nope...i won`t....take a deep breath...release...Ambil hikmahnya (like my mom said to me) ok... i will, mom!
Buat Sinyo : Keep goin, gal! u did it! just one step again and the world will smile to you...
Buat Dhenok : he he he we`ll fighting again yah! dun worry babez...everything`s gonna be allright! There must be `something` hidden and what we have do is seek and find out what it is, k? cheers
hhhh...ready to find another opportunity or what? tomorrow i`ll start it! wish me luck! Will ya!

I feared failure until i realized that i only fail when i don`t try

"Well..Tell me about yourself, please..." kalimat pertama yg lumayan bikin deg2 an, gimana ga deg2 an dah lamaaaa banget ga ngobrol in english...makes me nerve u know! interview with the `HRD` vampire...believe it or not, he jokes me for the whole 30 minutes conversation, should i happy, sad or what??
yeah..3rd recruitment test of P.T Indosat- sby (i give all of my hope for this)...liat ntar jam 10 pengumumannya...semoga aja dah!
Kadang menjadi orang yang idealis itu perlu banget! i used to have some purpose to make my life go-go in this 2004, one of my resolution is find a better job with better sallary and `click` with my educational background..well...sounds so idealism right? tapi aku pikir sah2 aja kok masing2 orang punya kemauan dan harapan asal dia bisa mempertanggungjawabkan dan ada usaha untuk mencapainya
yeah...for the better future,deal?
btw wanna change my template with some cute tartan style...need more guidance....H E L P ! ! !

Hhhh....lot of work to do tonight and it`s rainy out there..totally hard rain i think, sepertinya orang-orang tidak rela mendengar keinginanku untuk tidur bersama bantal, guling dan selimut kesayangan diatas tempat tidurku yang empuk, huh! jadinya..yah...banyak banget kerjaan yak! okay let`s start it now...

Hhmm...it's looong time not crumble with my blog! almost a year! holy cow@$!?? wazz up with me, anyway??? saya berjanji
1. will go seriously with anything from now on!
2. Kalo enggak dilakuin liat janji point 1!!
Wahai sahabat2 ku ingetin dong.....i intent to fix anything to do with me better and better, GOD help me please....

Abis hair spa rasanya enteng banget, i think i will do it routinely...
btw thanks to Vivin for teaching me for this new stuff..thanks a lot Vin!! u r my best!! hei..i mean it!!

abis atit neh....kesian kan.....you know what? the doctor said that i`m STRESS!!! jadi sekarang dalam rangka penyembuhan...aku pikir-pikir apa dokternya nggak salah tuh, perasaan aku nggak stress-stress amir, ini juga masih bisa haha hihi....cuman kadang kalo malam nangis sendiri hiks hiks hiks...so what?
Setiap orang hidup pasti punya masalah dan masalah itu adalah media untuk menjadi dewasa sehingga kita tahu apa sebenarnya arti hidup ini (ceile....abis sakit kok jadi sok tau gini yah!)...WAKKK...it`s time to take a rest....good night my bunny...semoga besok lebih sehat...

eh Happy white day yah....

baru pertama kali tau blog stuff...ini juga taunya dari vivien (one of my best friend)......busettttttt kemana aja aku selama ini????? tapi syusyah juga yah....maklum deh kan newbie, butuh bimbingan dari para sesepuh....TOLONGIN DONG VIEN.......!!!!!!